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Is it at all sick and twisted that one of my feelings when I heard about the Clackamas Town Center shooting was jealousy for the victims?

I would much rather I had been shot, since I want to die anyway. It's unfair that those who actually want to live get their lives taken so early.

Also, I get suicide, but I'm not to the point where I get taking other people down with you. When I go, I want to be quiet, calm and alone.